Goodness Gracious!

In Dedication of Lisa Ursel:

This one is for you champ. Quit your bitchin! I've been trying to write since the 15th but I only get bits and pieces done at a time and it has turned into a pain in the butt! So today I decided to erase all the crap I have written and start fresh. Now what...

Peanut butter/ jam sandwiches, pancakes and ham, red radishes, heaven knows!? Anything goes... Homogenized and one and two percent...

Oh brother. So today for my snack I brought crackers and peanut butter, yum right? Well it was (is, I'm still working on it) delicious. Who ever thought the big loud mouth lady who ALWAYS has an opinion would have something to say about my peanut butter?! F*ck off, okay.

Man! So I open my lunch bag and pull out my crackers and little container of peanut butter and open her up and start putting peanut butter on my first cracker. Meanwhile she walks behind my desk to grab a file and that was the end of it. The first comment out of her mouth was "Do you really think that bringing peanut butter into this office is a good idea?" To which I replied dumbly "Ahhh...." So she says "Well, do you know how many people have allergies to peanuts these days?!" So I smirk, take a bite and say "Hmm, well do YOU have allergies? Because if you do I would suggest moving out of my cubicle while I eat this delicious cracker with peanut butter."

I wouldn't have been such a jerk about it if: A) it was anyone else and B) she had not been the one to bring peanut butter cookies for everyone last month... Then she goes on to say "No, (surprise!) but lots of people are deathly allergic to it and you should be more careful as to where you bring peanut butter." So I said "Thanks, but I'll worry about that situation when I need to."

So here's the thing! She walked into MY cubicle and decided to tell me what I should and should not be eating. Hm, how about look in the mirror and you'll realize that maybe YOU should lay off the peanut butter cookies lady. Frik.

Peanut butter is the ultimate food. Sucks that kids are actually that allergic to it, but that's life kiddos! I grew up on peanut butter sandwiches. Whenever my brothers or I would tell my mom we were hungry and it wasn't breakfast lunch or supper time my mom would ALWAYS say "Make a peanut butter sandwich." It used to drive us nutso! But these days, peanut butter is god.

Let me also tell you about my mom and peanut butter! She eats that stuff like it's going out of style! That literally is her breakfast lunch and supper and she is perfectly content with that! When she used to make our lunches for school we had a peanut butter sandwich in there every day. Always wrapped in a bread bag.. oh my mom and her bread bags. When we were in elementary school they used to call her and tell her she wasn't allowed to send us to school with peanut butter and she used to yell at them and low and behold, the next day I opened up my lunch and *ta-da* a peanut butter sandwich. Screw the kids with the allergies, the kids with all those allergies were probably dork-sticks anyways so it was like a repellent.

Be a good housewife...

So I just read the funniest thing ever. Taken from a text book in 1955, here are 5 marriage tips for every woman:

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal -- on time. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dust cloth over the tables.

4. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice.

5. Listen to him: you may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the tie. Let him talk first.

Oh goodness. They actually taught women that?! "..offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice." Okie dokie, good thing I wasn't around back then! I mean it's one thing to make dinner and clean up but come on, I don't speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice at the best of times! And I'm definitely not taking off anybodies shoes, eff that noise! You want your shoes off, you take them off yourself!

Okay LISA, I hope this has fulfilled my blogging requirements for the time being because I must get back to work! Oh but wait, I have to find a song for today now too of coarse! Here it is... Jason Aldean's new song, I loooove it! Maybe it has something to do with him being the sexiest man alive with the most sexy voice EVER.. Anyways, here it is! The Truth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tZaIDo_ULk




Oh Jason Aldean <3 Let's just look at a picture..